


a premature pickle

by kookseok



Category: GOT7
Genre: M/M, but you have to like squint tbh, slight!mark/jaebum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kookseok/pseuds/kookseok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"i want a fic where a got7 member tries to hit on youngjae at a halloween party in a cucumber costume" au. <a id="cutid1" name="cutid1"></a></p>
            </blockquote>





	a premature pickle

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted from lj

youngjae’s not quite sure how he ended up at a halloween party with an awful cape around his neck and plastic fangs in his mouth, but alas he is here, against his will needless to say. also, forewarning to _never_ respond to any of the word vomit that comes out of jaebum’s mouth, because now he’s stuck at a party and jaebum is his only ride back home.

youngjae is standing by what he presumes is the food table with a cup in hand and a vague recollection of the moments that had conspired before this, squinting down at his drink. the last thing he remembers is jaebum bursting through the doors with a bag in his hand, cackles resounding from the background. was this a one man job? probably not and that’s what made the whole event even more horrifying. to know that jaebum had broken their pot of trust was unforgivable and that ass is probably off clinging to his new exchange student boyfriend (who is honestly super attractive).

he’s not exactly fond of parties per say, it’s just the whole having to converse with someone you barely know for more than five minutes that isn’t your teacher, family member or friend, is exhausting enough as it is. youngjae just wants to lie in bed (homework aside) and watch funny dog videos till he starts wandering into the stranger parts of youtube (one time he spent twenty-five minutes watching an open heart surgery at two am in the morning; how he got there he has no clue).

he twirls the drink around in his hand as he starts weighing the pros and cons of walking home and curling back into bed when something large and green in his peripherals catches his eye. he freezes, praying to whatever power that they don’t come up to him and try to start a conversation. he keeps his eyes glued to his drink, lips pursed as if he’s deep in thought but the large green thing is too close and he can’t help but turn to look and _you have got to be kidding me_.

“hello there, handsome stranger,” the male asks, donning a large cucumber costume that makes youngjae cringe. youngjae, however, doesn’t respond, trying to figure out what the hell he must have done in his past life to have a guy in a _cucumber_ costume approach him. out of all the things in this world. cucumber man doesn’t wait for a reply, continuing with, “what’s long, hard, and has cum in it?” the man asks, a smirk on his face, blonde hair peaking out from the face opening.

youngjae’s jaw drops, all words (and soul) leaving him in a collective shriek, departing with tender farewells. cucumber man has the biggest grin on his face and _oh god._ “um, excuse you?” youngjae sputters, the high points of his cheeks dusted a light red.

“a cucumber!” the man raises an eyebrow, who emits an annoyingly attractive arrogance. "but i like the way you think."

youngjae’s has no words, still lost at the idea that the number one thing he hates most in this world (besides jaebum at the moment) happens to be the costume of a man trying to hit on him. _what luck_.

cucumber man is relentless, not catching on to the grimace spread across youngjae’s face. “what’s the difference between being hungry and being horny?” the man asks, and youngjae can feel a piece of himself die with each passing second of this conversation.

“what?” he grumbles, in hopes compliance will only shoo away such an atrocity of wasted fabric. even just the sight of it has him feeling queasy.

“where you put the cucumber!” the man snaps his fingers while making finger guns with a shit-eating grin on his face.

youngjae let’s out a little squeak, giving the room a quick glance over in hopes of spotting jaebum but he’s stuck with the short end of the stick and a list of locations where he could easily dump a body and never get caught. he can only imagine the headlines: "man in cucumber costume found at the bottom of 'in a pickle' lake". he swears he spots the top of jinyoung’s head but it’s fleeting and youngjae starts to wonder if this night could get any worse.

“name’s jackson,” the man informs, bringing a hand up to his forehead to brush the fallen strands aside.

“uh, youngjae.”

jackson presses a hand against his hip, making a dent in the fabric, and asks, “so, youngjae, what’s a cucumber gotta’ do around here to get a dance?” he smiles.

youngjae unattractively snorts, “funny. thanks but no thanks.”

jackson pouts, _literally_ pouts and youngjae can’t decide if it’s cute or not when his worst enemy is consuming a small blonde man, whose korean sounds a little off and he sort of looks familiar. youngjae tries not to think about it.

“i can assure you one-hundred percent that i am a good dancer. don’t let the stupidity of my costume fool you,” jackson reasons, obviously not budging and youngjae isn’t exactly master defender in the martial arts of flirting, or whatever this is. and the last thing youngjae would ever expect himself to do, on his death bed or not, is dance with a cucumber (man inside or no man inside, there is no difference). the thought alone makes him want to cry in embarrassment and he knows if any of his friends see it he’ll spend the next five lifetimes never living it down.

so youngjae just gives it to him straight. “it’s not you, it’s the _costume_.”

“is it because it looks like a giant green dick?” jackson nods, as if it’s confirming _why_ youngjae is turning him down. “you know, this was actually a bet. i can’t give you the details but i can understand if it’s because of that.”

youngjae just stares, giving the costume a once over before confirming himself that it does, indeed, look like giant green dick. but what youngjae sees is something entirely different and he knows explaining this would be weird.

“man, i knew it,” jackson sighs. “it would be a little weird if you were dancing with a man that looked like a green dick. i _swear_ that was never my intention—“

“no, it’s because it’s a cucumber,” youngjae cuts him off, placing his drink down onto the food table behind him and the confusion flourishes once more over jackson’s face.

“wait, what do you have against cucumbers?” jackson asks, affronted and looking displeased, both hands on his hips now as if youngjae has strongly offended the man.

youngjae rolls his eyes. “they’re gross.”

“they are _not_ gross,” jackson poorly refutes. youngjae had never thought he would ever have a fight with someone dressed in a cucumber costume at a halloween party _over_ cucumbers. the universe was a strange thing indeed.

“yes, they are,” youngjae reaffirms.

“okay, first of all,” jackson starts. “they help regulate blood pressure, protect your brain, and reduce your risk of cancer. they also keep you hydrated and are _full_ of all sorts of vitamins. they have done no wrong.” jackson counts on his fingers, trying to prove his point; youngjae exhales.

“second!” jackson pauses, shifting awkwardly. “i don’t have a second, but don’t hate on cucumbers when they’re only trying to do right in this world.”

“anyways.” youngjae tries not to laugh, the smallest play of a smile gracing his lips. what a wild turn of events.

“i can’t believe i met a cucumber hater while wearing a cucumber costume.” jackson shakes his head. “but you’re gorgeous, so i’m gonna’ let you go on this one.”

“gee, thanks,” youngjae snickers, ignoring the flip his stomach makes at the sound of ‘gorgeous’. he would love to take it as a compliment seeing as the only people that have complimented him have been his friends or family, but it’s hard to take jackson seriously when he’s literally dressed as a cucumber.

“you know what they say, keep your friends close but your enemies closer,” jackson wiggles his brow, the smile back full fledged and youngjae can feel his composure dissolve. jackson’s slipping through the cracks unnoticed but youngjae attemps to stay relentless as usual.

youngjae scoffs. “i don’t want anything cucumber related anywhere near me.”

“you know, jaebum actually told me you love cucumbers, hence the costume. the secret is out.” jackson wiggles his fingers.

and it clicks and youngjae finally understands where he’s seen jackson before. he’s mark’s best friend, also an exchange student which would explain the korean. they also happen to have a class together. however, youngjae, not quite fond of making new friends, never made the effort. but here he is, meeting jackson under bizarre circumstances, and probably making a terrible first impression. wait—

“jaebum said what?” youngjae fumes, the list of reasons why im jaebum should die tonight growing by the second.

“remember the bet i told you about?” jackson asks, continuing when youngjae nods. “long story short, i lost a bet to jaebum and his choice of punishment was to ask you out in a cucumber costume because i actually find you super attractive and was hoping this would break the ice.”

youngjae splutters, feeling his cheeks warm and _oh my god he was flirting with me_. the summersaults are back full wind and youngjae starts to feel the dawn of regret.

“anyways, he told me that you _love_ cucumbers and that this was totally an in. he is _obviously_ a dick.” jackson exhales. “i am going to kill him when i see him.”

“join the club,” youngjae chuckles, giving jackson a small smile. “so you find me attractive?” he attempts to wheedle.

“hell yeah, i’ve had my eyes on you since day one." jackson gestures to his eyes and then points two fingers to youngjae.  “that actually sounded a little creepy," he admits.

youngjae nods, biting the bottom of his lip. “it did.”

jackson, oblivious to embarrassment, is unaffected and it’s oddly endearing. “so, does this mean i finally get a dance?”

youngjae laughs, eyes crinkling and all and he nods. “only if you take the costume off first,” he says.

“deal!” jackson cheers as he bursts through the crowd. youngjae can’t help but laugh at the sight of something large and green bouncing and pushing through the horde of people as though his life depended on this very dance. however, when he does come back all he’s wearing is a white tank and boxers with that same shit-eating grin plastered across his face, and youngjae thanks whatever power above for gracing this world with, oddly enough, cucumbers and their great conversation starters (but not for being gross because they honestly don’t deserve that much credit).


End file.
